All This Time
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: "I may not have fell like you did. I didn't fall gradually and slow over the span of twenty years. It was fast and sudden. It had me stumbling looking around trying to figure out where I was. I didn't even know it had happened."


"Sakura, why have you been spending so much time with me?" Shikamaru asked her one day. They were laying on his favorite hill on the soft grass. There was a slight breeze that liked to pick up her hair and dance with it. There was only a few clouds that day, the sun beat down on them and she could feel its warmth on her skin.

Sakura felt herself blush at his question and shrugged the best she could lying on the ground. "I like hanging out with you, Shikamaru. Is that such a bad thing? We never got to spend time alone like this when we were younger. It's…nice."

Honestly, over the years, she'd developed a small crush on the man beside her. She'd seen him in the Tower so often and started to notice him more. She'd had no idea why she was suddenly so aware of him. Then, one day, she'd tripped over an uneven floorboard and he'd caught her before she could fall and drop all the books she was caring. There was something in his eyes that day when she'd met them. Something that made her heart skip a beat and she'd never been able to forget it since. It'd made her curious about the boy she'd known since she was little, but had never really _known_.

He glanced at her but she didn't meet his eyes. She could tell by his smirk that he had noticed her blush. He didn't comment on it, though, and turned his eyes back to the sky above them. Her next question caught her as off guard as the first. "We've always been friends, haven't we?"

Sakura's eyebrows scrunch together and she looked over at him. She didn't know where he was going with this or where his mind had taken him, but she answered him, "Yes. Maybe not as close as others but I've always considered you a friend."

He smiled and she could tell by the far off look in his eyes that he was thinking about something serious. She would ask, but if he wanted to share it with her then it was only a matter of time before he told her. She only had to wait a minute before he did.

He was hesitant as he started, "You know, I'd always noticed you, Sakura." Then, his smile turned soft as he looked up like he found peace with whatever he was about to say. Sakura was silent as she listened to him, still wondering what had brought this all on. "You were this shy little girl with the most ridiculously pink hair." He chuckled to himself and Sakura would've been mad if the affection in his voice wasn't so clear like it was. She felt herself smiling with him as he continued, "I remember you were bullied and how Ino practically adopted you. You smiled so much more after that. You were adorable." He glanced at her and Sakura felt her cheeks warm.

"Then, all of you girls went crazy for Sasuke." His smile faltered but it was still there. "It was annoying really, watching you fawn over some guy you didn't even know, just because he was _cool_." He sighed and Sakura watched as his eyes followed a cloud in the sky as it moved. "I didn't understand why I felt like that until later."

Sakura felt her breath catch in her throat. _Was he saying…what she thought he was…?_ He went on, "I remember thinking you were annoying too. Your world revolved so much around Sasuke, you didn't care about anything else. You were top of the class and had all this potential that you weren't using. But it wasn't like I was any better. I didn't care about _anything_." He smiled like he was remembering his past self, a lazy child who thought everything was _troublesome_. "It shouldn't have bothered me but it did.

"Then, I saw you cry for the first time when he left. I had felt uncomfortable and I didn't understand why. I told myself it was because I just didn't like to see girls cry. But I had seen Ino cry before and even though I had felt for her, it was different. I remember thinking _I never want to see Sakura cry again._ " He was quiet for a moment and Sakura wondered if he was remembering all the times she _had_ cried in front of him since then. It wasn't a lot. But she felt a pain in her chest thinking her tears might have cause him any kind of pain.

"I noticed you a lot more than that. I watched as you slowly changed from this frightened girl to someone who worked hard for what she wanted. You always had this determined face when I'd walk by and see you training with Tsunade. You were more outspoken and it was like you were finding yourself without Naruto or Sasuke there to overshadow you. You were amazing." He turned his head to smile at her and she could see so much warmth in his eyes. It made her heart skip a beat and she thought about all the times she'd seen Shikamaru during that time. It had felt like he was encouraging her without even saying it, always giving her this proud smile. It hadn't even been that often that she'd seen him, but she remembered every time. He'd been like this support beam, silent but there for her if she ever needed him.

She was relieved Shikamaru didn't seem to be looking for any type of response, because she had no idea what to say. A part of her felt like she wasn't even there. Shikamaru talked so calmly and without hesitance, it was almost as if he was just talking to himself. He didn't look away from her this time as he continued, "You've always been amazing, Sakura. Powerful and strong. The most caring person I've ever met. It was like you were growing into this amazing person right before my eyes. It was…beautiful." He turned back to the sky and told her softly, "You were beautiful. The way you could see the depths of your emotions in your eyes. Your smile, it – it always took my breath away. It still does. Even your _ridiculously pink_ hair suited you so well. Because it made you stand out and you deserved to stand out. You were special. Special to _me_. It took me so long to realize it. I think it was around the war when I did."

Sakura could feel her heart pounding against her chest so hard it was almost painful. Her throat felt dry and she wasn't even sure she was breathing. She wasn't even aware of a few tears escaping down her face. No one had ever talked about her like that, so in depth and with so much... _love_. Her eyes were locked on Shikamaru, her ears straining to catch every word. She felt like she was in some weird dream because this couldn't be happening. _Could it?_

Shikamaru's smile twitched again like he wasn't sure if he was happy about what he was saying or not. "I was falling in love with you. Falling without even asking to, without _wanting_ to, because you were so far out of my reach. I knew I could never have you. You were still enamored with Sasuke and even then, there were better men than me for you."

Sakura wanted to argue with him. She wanted to tell him that she was right there with him. _Right next to him._ He could reach out for her if he wanted to. But she reminded herself he was talking about the past. Even if he still felt that way, she didn't know if she could deny it considering her tongue felt like lead in her mouth.

There was a short pause before he continued, "But my feelings never went away like I'd hoped. They just seemed to grow and I don't know if they'll ever _stop_ growing. My heart still skips a beat when you walk into a room. When you smile at me, I feel this warmth that's almost addictive. Even as a twenty-five-year-old man, I still try to think of excuses to see you. To talk to you even if it's only for a minute." He laughed at himself and his smile widened. Sakura didn't think she'd ever seen someone look so beautiful than in that moment. "It's like I'm still some love-struck teenager."

This time, his pause was longer than before and Sakura took the chance to find her voice. It was barely audible as she asked him, still in disbelief, "All this time?"

Shikamaru sighed and looked over at her. He didn't say anything for a second and the longer he stared at her, the louder Sakura's heart seemed to get it. She wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it. He smiled at her and Sakura could finally see the adoration that he'd always looked at her with. She could feel the tears now that were running down her face. He didn't comment on them, but she could see the displeasure he felt when he saw them.

His eyes returned to the sky as he answered her, "Yeah, all this time. I love you, Haruno Sakura. I always have and it seems like I always will if the passing of time is anything to go by."

It wasn't what she wanted to say, but the words tumbled out of her mouth without thinking. She had to know. "Why now? Why are you telling me all this now?"

"You've been spending more time with me lately. These past few years and it seems like it's more and more often as the months go by. I'm the happiest I've ever been and if there's any chance that… you feel the same, I…" He glanced at her and then back to the sky. He went completely silent and she could see him swallow nervously. Then, he let out a deep breath. "You don't have to say anything right now, Sakura. I just…wanted to tell you."

Sakura had never felt so much regret as she looked at Shikamaru. He'd always been there for her. He was kind and charming, able to confess his undying love for her without breaking a sweat. _He_ was the amazing one and Sakura had never even thought about him in that light until a few years ago. She was too busy fantasizing over a childhood crush that was never going to go anywhere. She'd never paid any other boys any mind and she had never regretted it more than in that moment. Shikamaru had silently loved her for so long and she hadn't even noticed. She was amazed that he didn't resent her for it.

She didn't even think as she moved until she was straddling his waist and kissing him. She could taste salty tears on her lips and was vaguely aware that they were hers, but she didn't care all that much. Shikamaru had gotten over his shock fairly quickly and was kissing her back with a passion that was almost overwhelming. He had an arm wrapped around her waist pulling her closer and a hand that was tangled in her hair. She had both her hands on his face and nothing had ever felt so right than to have him that close. It was exhilarating how he kissed her and out of her few kisses, it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. She _felt_ something with him and she'd never been surer of her feelings than now.

When she broke the kiss, she met his eyes and told him, "I love you."

His eyes widened and he shook his head, telling her breathless, "No, don't just say that. You don't, Sakura. You just –'

She interrupted him with a strong, " _I do_. Shikamaru, I think I've loved you for years. I've always felt this -  
this _something_ with you and I had no idea what it was. It drew me to you and I just had to – had to know everything I could about you. I had to _understand_ it. You – I may not have fell like you did. I didn't fall gradually and slow over the span of twenty years. It was fast and sudden. It had me stumbling looking around trying to figure out where I was. I didn't even know it had happened." Her confession wasn't like his. It wasn't calm and she hadn't planned all her thoughts out. She was on the verge of crying even worse than she already was. She was rambling, gripping on to her feelings and trying to show them to him before they slipped out of her hands again. But hers was just as honest and heartfelt as his. "I love you, Nara Shikamaru. It's not as deep as your love but I can feel it digging itself inside of me. I know I will fall in love with you more each and everyday, because it only makes sense if _the passing of time is anything to go by_."

Her smile stretched across her face and more tears rolled down as she looked at him. She could tell he was taken aback by her confession. His breathing was shaky even as he smiled, moving his hand to her to wipe away her tears with his thumb. His voice was almost as soft as a whisper. "Do you listen to anything I say? I told you I hate it when you cry."

Sakura laughed and he pulled her down to kiss her again. Feeling his smile against her lips was something she knew she'd never get over. He kissed her lips, then her cheeks making her feel giddy. She leaned down and kissed his cheek before burying her face in his neck. She wanted to tell him thank you but she had a feeling he'd just repeat it back to her, so she simply hugged him close to her. She didn't know how long they ended up lying there just holding each other, but she wouldn't mind if it was forever. Right there on Shikamaru's favorite hill in his arms. It was perfect to her.


End file.
